The last time of me being EMOTIONAL !

Sighed. Besides having a hectic life , I even have many issues happened around me. I didn't tend to complaint them , but instead , I'm glad to have them , most of it practically. So yeah. Anyway this whole can consider a disaster , and at the same time , it can consider good too. Everything goes well and usual during the beginning of the week , and then came on Thursday. I was effing and bloody tired. Due to Wednesday's 3am's sleep! I can't even wake up and I get scolding from my dad. Yikes. Say I didn't even talk to any of my college classmates. I have no idea why I'm acting sooooooo not right. According to Sue Jenn , many of my friends afraid to talk to me. Cause I was doing pretty normal when I was with Jenn in the morning. Then something came into my mind. Which I can't/don't want to mention out here. Yikes. Sighed. I know I'm super scary that day. Not to say I'm being emotional , I'm just TIRED. Yes that's what I meant all the time. :/ But still for them , as what they said , EMO. Oh well , perhaps , perhaps not ? I seriously have no idea :X

Moving on , Friday I was perfectly perfect ! I'm being normal and can consider that I'm being effing crazy too. High insanity to be exact word to use. I'm acting way normal ! Lol. Happy to say that noting happened on that day , everything was smoothly going , and a little of gossip and teasing during so called STUDY TIME during the afternoon. And yeah , I'm too excited and amazing to say this , that I've DONATED 480ml of my money-can't-buy BLOOD. Ahaaaa. I feel awesome and great while/after donating it. Like seriously awesome! Haha. Well , I at least did some so called morality work right ? :D

A picture to prove some of my silly and crazy old friends that I'm donating blood is NOT A DREAM but A REALITY ! :))

Lol. Ugly right ? Yes I know :S Besides me , another friend of mine , Danny , donated blood too. He's like indecisive of whether to donate or not. In the end , he did donate. Proud for him :) Thanks to us for convincing him. Hehe. Guess he owe us one. Like yeah , isn't he ? :P After donating , went back to library for study , supposedly. And we ended up talking and looking at some cute chinese books ! :D After they leave , Kar Vern and I chatted like a little while and back home after that. A friday had passed just like that , without anything bad happened. This seriously make my day a lot :)

Hmm before I continue with my post , which will be kinda emotional (in my opinion) or maybe not. It depends on individual actually. So yeah. Well it started like this , first , a friend of mine had just post a blog about me , where as she is telling the truth facts which I'm acting/having right now , I just don't know why I can't accept it , is partially my fault too. So yeah. She was doing her job by telling me and asking me to change. She's like doing her best to convince me in order for me to become a happy-go-lucky , cheerful , and a good person. I don't know why I am so fcuking pissed about that. Silly me , I started to post all my thoughts in Twitter , crapping much about what's this and what's that. I'm seriously lifeless , yes I admit that. After all , I should reflect myself instead of the others. When I lied down on my bed and think back , it's actually nothing. Like seriously nothing. At the same time , I wonder , what if she's not there , same college nor same class with me , nothing will happen , I will not realize myself , I will not change , I will remain the shitty xin lei which shucks pretty much. Basically whatever she write is all right , like totally right about me. My stupidness occurs on me , thanks to my hectic life. Urghh. Or maybe got nothing to do with that , IDK. I should appreciate her help or advice and accept the fact that I'm a shitty person in college. But then I didn't. Guess turning back the time won't be helping me much too. Seriously , I'm such a fool for not appreciate people's advice and against it instead. Why am I so brainless to do that ? I totally have no clue. Urgh. If I have another chance to do so , I would appreciate it and WILL NOT against for whatever people said.

Anyway , I would wanna let that person know that , thank you so much for your advice , I know I'm being a jerk or perhaps I'm really one of it , I'm so so so so sorry for against it and doesn't appreciate for whatever you said. Without your advice , I will remain the unexpected shitty me and I will always a jerk. I mean it , your advice helps me a lot. I owe you a big big time. And I wish I can repay you back. We only know each other for a year and a half , and all of us acted like we know each other for more than 10 years. That really shows that we're really really best friends. It determined by GOD to group all of us together. Man , I didn't say these things for quite some time. And I'm glad to say these on us :) No matter whatever it is , I will treat you as my best friend cause you always wake me up from hell. You told me things that people never tell me before. I've learned a lot from you. Things that I haven't got the experience , I experienced with you together. I do really appreciate our members friendship. Ah well. I really wish we all would be like last time , acting crazy and teasing each other. But I got a feeling that , it wouldn't happen anymore due to recent unfortunate incidents. I seriously regret for wasting that awesome advice. Sighed.

Person oh person , you and the another (our usual 3) do really understand me well enough. I feel damn effing grateful to have and know you girls in life. Nothing can ever ruined our friendship. I mean it and I promised you all I WON'T BE EMO (like what you guys always said whenever you guys saw me with my tiring face) ! I love you GIRLS and perhaps GUYS too like there's no level for it. I really need to wake up and appreciate every single thing that you guys had done for me. i'm sorry for everything that I've done. No matter whatever it is , whether good or not! Just be the way we are , have fun and enjoy like there's no obstacles ! I will need to capture every moments we spend together really really well :) Thousand apologies for everything , basically.

Gabriel - Thank you for everything. What to thanked you ? Oh well , thanks for teaching me things that I don't understand and explained to me well enough. Also , thanks for driving me to Lrt station sometimes. You've done a lot of good things to me , thanks a lot for that. And I'm sorry if I hurt you or whatever bad stuffs I did to you. Fyi , your jokes are lame sometimes , sorry to say that , but then thanks for entertaining us , you at least did your best! I will never forget a lame joker like you :) Not to mention , you're DARE to enough to do everything. Like our girl friend , Pei Wern. Just that you're formal (properly) , she informal (simply). Lol.

Sue Jenn - Jenn , thank you for sending me back home or drive me back home. And also , thanks for the concern over me when I'm not feeling good. Thanks a heap for your kindness. You're seriously kind and helpful. Can describe you that you're a FULL and HIGH morality person! Thank you so much for anything and everything. Sorry that I hurt or teased you or something bad. Like teased you DC queen and all. Happy Jenn Jenn! :)

Aaron - Aaron ah Aaron. Sigh. I'm sorry for that day. You said hye to me and I barely even smile to you. You're good enough to say hye , I really appreciate that!! Thank you so much for helping me and cheer me up whenever I'm down. You even help me in business tutorials. And you always laugh whenever I said something , for me is usual , for you is like you're watching a super duper funny comedy. Laughing like nobody cares , non-stop. Mad person laaa you! :D Superb!

Danny - Haiyooo this yong sui. Every time also talk so much. This also talk , that also talk. Non-stop talking. Mouth worst than a crow , bigger than blue hippo , more perasan than peacock ! Gosh danny oh danny ! Lol. Anyway thanks for helping me out sometimes. I seriously appreciate it. Not to mention , I've learned a lot from you too. Talking + Hanging out with you is fun , and your voice , is bearable enough for me to take it. If not I will run zillions km from you! Whenever I go , your voice will always appear , worst than hallucination. Goodness. I know you gonna praise your voice once you read this. Haha. Maybe , maybe not. Sorry if I cause you any inconvenience! Forgive me for any vulgar words ! But teasing and shooting back at you jokingly is fun! :) Will be bored if I don't do that. Hehe.

Pei Wern - Haha this girl ? Lol. I would like to thank her for accompany me everywhere , willingly ! And help me tons. She even create the happiness and laughters among each other. She's bring along joy and enjoyable moments. Sorry if I've trouble you or hurting you much by bullying you , perhaps. Ah well . Thanks for teaching and guide me to where I should be and right thing to do.

Jun Yen - Aiyooo , another yong sui. So called himself HANDSOME. Lol. Said that no matter wherever he go , everyone surely stare at him. Right. Anyway , thanks a lot for lending me your iPod ! And sorry if I disturbed you and Pei Wern during the time you both sitting or going anywhere / everywhere together. I think I will have to need to give you both some privacy! Sorry if there's any trouble I caused to you!

Kar Vern - Haha vern ahh ? Basically nothing much! Lol. Kidding. Oh well , thank you so much vern for being there for me , and accompany wherever I want to go. You even care for me whether I'm okay or not okay. You always asked me questions that I will shoot back to you. Lol. That is where the fun part began! Haha. And your laughter is unique , I mean like seriously. You really a joyful person. Things that you hardly heard and all , you will be laughing non-stop. I like to see you laugh. Just that I didn't tell you. Cause I know you will think I'm crazy to ask you to laugh for no reason. So yeah. I'm sorry for bullying you , teasing you non stop. I know I'm ober-reacting sometimes. But then I couldn't stand when comes to you , I love to bully you. Hmm will be a yes if I ask your permission whether can bully you or not ? Hopefully is a yes though. Lol.

Sorry to you too that I did things that I'm not supposed to do. Sigh. Forgive me , I'm crazy and can over react whenever I'm happy!

Qki - Lol ? Oh well , guess the apologize part I've mentioned above. Thank you so much for everything. Yes everything. You've helped me a lot , be there for me , care about me (hopefully there is) and all. And of course , thanks for making me realize about myself. I will become the xinlei that you expected. I will get rid the EMO mode forever , I mean it. PROMISED :) Even though I've been bullied by you always , I still like those times because that is where our group bonding increases. I would love to see more of hanging out moments among us during college time. Us as in the 9 of us ! You're also consider the joker of our member. On the other hand , our reputation are all gone too , thanks to you. But anyway , it will gain back once we did something good and moral. Like me , reputation gone , but it gain when I went for blood donation. Hehe. Last but not least , lets forget the past and move on to the future. Never ever think back and just pretend there's nothing happened. Remain like last time yeaaa ! :)

Hey the awesome 9 , lets forget everything in the past and head to the future together. May our friendship remains forever and never ever let anything to break our friendship. Any issues or problems , just bleed it out ! Direct is bad , yes I know. But that is where we can get to know each other more by repairing the issues! We will be more understanding towards each other. And I'm truly sorry that if 'm acted indirectly towards you guys. And do accept the fact and the truth , because true friends do tell the truth and never ever lie to you at the back! Nor back-stab you. I know the 9 of us will not act this way , is so impossible and it's obvious enough. Hopefully we remain like last time , laughing all around , chatting non-stop , bullying + teasing each other and all. We reunite and do everything together , because all for one and one for all !

I WILL PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT BE EMO ANYMORE AND BE AS CHEERFUL AS YOU GUYS ! IF I EMO , SHOOOOOT ME TO THE MAX ! TELL ME OFF. YES , I'M GIVING YOU GUYS PERMISSION TO DO THIS. SO PLEASE APPRECIATE IT AND TAKE THE CHANCE !

:DD

I'M SORRY FOR SCARING YOU GUYS OUT LIKE ANYTHING THAT DAY. NO MORE NEXT TIME , I PROMISED ! :]]

I love the 9 of us a lot cause I know they're irreplaceable !

Friends forever :)

Truly , xinlei.

P/S : Took 4 or 5 hours to update this post ! Hope you guys enjoy it or like it. Sorry for any errors occur. Poor grammar and vocab I have. Urgh. Need to brush up myself like a lot.

Thank you so much for everything !