#Repost 'Judging Other People Only Makes You Worse' #Repost

It was gossip, and we can dress it up however we like with claims of needing to “work things out,” or “get clarification,” but nine times out of ten, we are blowing off a little steam at the expense of someone we don’t like (at least at the moment).

We all do this, though. We all allow ourselves to get caught up in the pain of feeling slighted, in the jealousy of someone’s achievements, in the moral judgments to be made on actions that don’t affect us in the least. Even if I do think that what someone else is doing is wrong, if it’s not hurting anyone, I stand to gain nothing from concerning myself with its implications. If there is a direct action that needs to be addressed, stewing over it won’t do a fraction of the good that addressing it head-on and making yourself understood would. We know this, and yet the satisfaction of judgment is often too alluring to let things stop there. How many of us have accepted an apology only to continue to shoot the same rays of disapproval every time we saw the one-time offender from across the room? We think we have some kind of moral high ground on them, but we are the ones who are stewing in our own juices of disdain.

And I can think of so few examples when I was particularly harsh on someone else’s life choices or actions when I didn’t feel at least a little bit implicated myself. Perhaps they were doing something that I didn’t have the bravery to do myself, or maybe it was a mistake I had already made. In any case, there was always a glimmer of my own weakness I saw in their decisions. I felt almost as though they were an extension of my own life, and as it is rather hard to put yourself in a corner and scold yourself for not doing something right, it was only natural to allow that judgment to come out on someone nearby. It’s a rather selfish instinct, all things considered, given that you are only trying to relieve yourself of some temporary pain when you make them take your moral lashes.

I don’t know if I’ll ever really learn how not to judge. So many people I respect — people who have had many more years to learn the colossal waste of time that waxing pretentious can be — are often caught up in a moment of petty disdain. They, too, allow slights from their social group to become a sore on the inside of their cheek that they just can’t stop tonguing. It seems sometimes an intrinsic part of being a human, a way of making yourself feel temporarily superior when you clearly haven’t earned it. Sure, it factors into their life on fewer and fewer occasions, but they are not immune from the cheap thrill of feeling above the fray when they are really the only one engaging in it.

What would normally feel like a moment of hard-wrought vindication had started to feel about as satisfying as playing handball against a set of drapes. No matter how hard I threw, it wasn’t going to come back to me the way I wanted it to. And the only person who really seemed pathetic — whatever details I provided about the object of my derision — was me. Because at the end of the day, only someone who is unhappy inside will spend even a moment of their time dragging someone else along with them. If I think about it, I can’t remember a time I was smiling, laughing, genuinely content, and still saying something petty about someone else. When you’re really fulfilled, you just don’t have the time for it.

#Repost #ThoughtCatalog

Indeed,  judging someone doesn't makes you a better person but a terrible communicator. Judging, in another words, gossip, is a negative side of communication. You benefits nothing by judging or gossiping about certain people. In fact, you brought your own image, and reputation down, all by yourself. This is how judging or gossiping makes you. I can ensure that you wouldn't want to have a terrible, or bad reputation, aren't you? So stop judging people, stop the gossiping and those negative stuffs. Stuffs that don't bring any good nor benefits to the mass society, to be exact. We, united together, would be able to make the world a better and peaceful place, by just stopping all the above. We can reunite and do things together, and nothing conflicts or issues happened in between us. With the slogan of 'All for one, and one for all' shows that we are one united nation, regardless of race, gender, and so on. Doesn't matter who you are, we're all still beings, living in the same world, under the same atmosphere (similarly somehow), same place called Earth. Not to mention living the similar routine of lives too. So, anti-racism, sexism, and stereotypes. This need to be address to the others and create awareness within each other. Send it on, peeps! 

Cheers and have a nice day! 
Regards. :)
Lei.